What Might You Change...

If you KNEW, within a day or so, when you'd die?

(I believe that the sugar high that was Disney is finally ebbing a bit)

Last night - late, while brain crunching the subtleties of Lost and deeper meanings of life - it occurred to me that I am at about the same chronological time in my life as she was in her life when our precious Mom first started having the symptoms of the cancer that would eventually lead to her death.

Those that know Goofy and me know how close we were to Mom. She was a best friend, a mentor, and, on occasion, a pain in the ass like the rest of us. LOL.

I have yet to find anyone that gives as thoughtful counsel as she. I have learned to keep my own counsel, which I know is part of what she taught us. I still miss those opportunities to bounce things off of her to get her perspectives. She had an inate ability to sort through all the crap and bring things down to the bare bones. A very good thing to do when trying to make a decision.

In the interim, I've triumphed and I've failed, and it's all good...how it's supposed to be.

She taught me that too. (see? I did listen and learn :)

Life is too short not to take risks...

"What's the worst that can happen?" she'd say, "You fail. So what? You start over and you've learned not to do that again. :)"

She was the smartest, most interesting, complex, most adored and undoubtedly the most loving and infuriating person that I have ever had the privilege to know.

I miss her every single day.

Maybe it's that I just had a birthday - my eleventh without her, (my God, how can that be?) - that put these contemplative musings into my mind in the quiet of the night.

Maybe it's that it dawned on me that I am roughly the same age as she was when that journey began.

She was just a kid when I was born. Married for nearly two years by then, and still not even 19.5 years older than I.

There is much I could say about why she left home so early, the adversity of those times and the times leading up to her divorce and how she managed to come through it all, but the only really important point is that she felt happy, well loved and free when she got there. The rest doesn't really matter.

What does matter is that she had the opportunity to really live her life...AND, she took it. She lived, and she did it with intent.

Most of us don't do that, really. We do what we think we are supposed to do.

We work, we pay bills, we mow the lawn and wash the cars.

The kids get to soccer practice and swimming and school and birthday parties, and - if we are being good at our jobs - they see their grandparents and all the people that love them .

As much as they can.

At the end of the day, we fall into bed exhausted, just to get up and do it all again tomorrow.

We exist.

Day to Day.

And those days add up before we know what's happened.

Think about it....is that what you want? Is that all there is?

There was one day in the hospital of that last time when she looked at me and said

that the last few years, cancer and all, were among the best in her life.

Being free to be herself, to follow her own dreams, to travel, to have friends she loved, to spend time with Goofy and me...it was a good way to be leaving.

I do not believe she regretted much of those years.

I wonder how many people can honestly say that.

And then, on that awful, beautiful sunny day in May, the world quit spinning on the same axis that it had always been on. It was subtle. It was a slight shift, but it was decidedly, noticeably different.

People honked their horns at stoplights turned green, and they flipped each other off, and they treated each other badly for no good reason.

I couldn't comprehend it for the longest time.

Didn't they know that the world was forever changed?

None of this silly stuff mattered, NONE OF IT, but they didn't understand.

It was so obvious to us, and yet everyone around us was oblivious. It was surreal, and it was amazingly clear.

And on that day, my entire world and view of life was forever changed.

I began to live as if tomorrow may never come. Not that I always succeed. It's so damn easy to slip into the line with all the rest of the lemmings. It takes conscious effort to remind oneself that those lines everyone is standing in don't matter.

I don't know that as humans, we are ever entirely able to grasp our own mortality really. It seems so far away - no matter how old we become, we just feel like we always have, really. Oh, we know that we'll die someday. It's just that it's never today.

I work very hard to remember every day that it's all ethereal, slipping slowly away as time marches on regardless of who is still in the parade.

As the old cliche' goes,

At the end of your life, you won't regret the time you didn't spend at work.

I think of this as I make decisions in my life. Not that I don't lose track of that notion from time to time. When I do, I feel that kick in the butt that reminds me to live each day as best I can. Time here is short. Follow your heart.

Some observers of my last eleven years might be perplexed at some of my decisions.

I graduated from college. I quit my job, started a dot com, ended the dot com, went back to a real job, left that one, work from home now - sometimes.

I'll probably go get a "real" job soon, but that's just a means to an end. I work to live, not the other way around. It's that necessary evil that fuels my dreams and provides the means to do what I need to do.

And I learned to scuba dive. It's my passion, discovered, finally. Although, mostly in warm water, lol. I am most at peace and feel more connected to the world when I am on, near, in the water than anywhere else. I think that this was true for Mom too. She loved the water, as I do - even though I can get seasick at times (even under water, but that's another story all together, lol).

I base a lot of my choices on the next dive opportunity. Life is leading me around the world in the water, and I can't wait.

I don't know how long I have on this earth, but I plan to spend a good deal of it nearby and under the water. With Goofy.

You can come along too, if you want. I think everyone should dive, and see what the largest part of the world looks like. We are just a small part of all of that...imagine.

I also plan to spend a lot of time with my family of friends. There is nothing more important than those connections...they are the point.

My wish for you is that you have the ability and the nerve to make sure that you do not lose those connections in your life. It's not easy. It's hard work, but it's worth the effort.

At the end of your days, whenever that comes along, you want to be the one going out satisfied that you lived that time to the fullest - whatever that means to you.

So...forget the laundry and the lawn for a day or two. Enjoy the day, merely for the fact that it's one of the days of your life.

You won't regret it.

M&G

If There IS Such a Thing...

...as a Disneyland Hangover...I've got it!

What a trip...non-stop running around like a 10 year old kid. We easily walked 10+ miles over the three days we actually went into the parks...woohoo! (and ouch!...lol)

A 10 year old kid with a credit card...bwahahaha...

A 10 year old kid with three sisters along who are also 10 years old - even though they aren't quadruplets or anything. It's complicated, but I digress. No actual kids were along - much to their dismay and total confusion...haha - it's good to surprise kids sometimes.

We got to the airport totally early in wild anticipation of our four nights and five days of Disney Magic.

We parked at Wally Park, and wondered if there was such a thing as Wally World, but decided it's just in a Chevy Chase movie - but what park did they use? we don't know...

and we still had a couple of hours to kill...so, we had dinner at Arnies...Or whatever that place there is called with the fish "swiming" along the floor in beautific mosaic. It's in the new part of the airport, where all the stores and stuff are...it's cool there -even if the airplanes hanging from the ceiling don't fly around like a toy on a string...Dinner was fine, as usual, great for airport food, and nobody hurled, so that was a bonus.

We flew on a new airline in these parts - Virgin America. All jokes aside (I know you are thinking them), it was a pretty nice ride. Each seat has it's very own computer console where you can watch movies, satellite TV (kinda), order food, drinks, and - once we discovered it - play games! We are all now members of Mah Jong anonymous...lol. There is a tethered remote that comes out of the seat arm with a qwerty keyboard and video controls on one side, and a remote control on the other. About the size of a Wii remote...very cool. The staff was nice and you get a free soft drink...they could work a bit on their on time record, but all in all, I'd fly this airline again, I think.

It is magic there in the land and world of Disney, and I'm Magic, so it worked out well, like some great cosmic coming together of the planets or something.

(Are you buying this? 'cause it's getting a bit deep, even for me ;)

Everyone says "Have a magical day"...so we did. We even stayed "on the property" which got us a few perks (like early entry to the park, just for being us), and closer proximity to the hallowed halls of that place we so needed to be.

Sometimes it's good to be 10 again...but it's way better with money and very little self-control or feelings of fiscal responsibility :) No feelings of responsibility at all, generally, but that is a different story for another time I think.

Think about the last time you were in Disneyland. Like the quads and I, you too grew up with the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday evenings (early enough for us to watch in our jammies before we headed off to bed). Sometimes, we even got to stay up late (all the way until 9 O'CLOCK!) to watch a special Disney event. Heady stuff for the average 5 year old - well, back then anyway, when kids still went to bed before their parents.

The whole idea of DISNEYLAND - a whole land of all things Disney - was almost more than our little minds could comprehend. Mickey and Goofy were there...living with their friends and riding all those rides.

Pirates of the Caribbean was SCAREY then (and it's new again, so has some good points now as well - Johnny Depp lives there, I saw him, and he's fast, running around that place like crazy just to pop up unexpected again). Pirates, in general, are scarey. Even been accosted by a SeaFair Pirate? Those guys are scarey...maybe it's the rum they drink on the way to the parade...(digressing again).


Here's an ACTUAL ghost pirate we saw in that underground cave...seriously...really...actual...PIRATE!




And here's Jack Sparrow (aka Johnny Depp)...he lives there in Pirates of the Caribbean...he does...we saw him! I told you...Scarey!




Dumbo's flying around in a circle were high up in the air and scarey. Teacups are NOT scarey, but they make you sick - which is handy if you've filled up on junk and need some more room...Mr Toad is not a good driver (sister...) and Indiana Jones is a great ride, but a bit bruising.

All of this goes to say that we all had a BLAST!




Our favorite past time was to try on (and photograph ourselves wearing) every hat we found.




One sister worried about being kicked out of the park for so much jubilant hat wearing without buying,



..but our peals of laughter were tolerated and observed with the kind of looks that parents give to their cute kids (bringing us back to the 10 year olds...lol).



What fun!

Here's a snap from my video of our favorite parade...can you guess what it is?



More later...I have to go figure out where to put all the stuff I brought back with me...in the meantime...

Have a MAGICAL day!

M&G

We're Off to See the Mouse!

So...finally...off to Disneyland this evening.

We are psyched!

Funny, huh? Considering that not one child is going with us (well, not a chronological child anyway ;))

Magic and Goofy LOVE Disneyland. Shoulda been able to guess that, but I'm just putting it right out there.

AND, we are flying a new airline to LAX...Virgin America. That should be kinda interesting too. Quite a high-tech experience (according to their website). Each seat has it's own entertainment center - a bona fide computer that can do all sorts of neato things. (neato is a technical term, meaning very cool :).

For instance, you can order a pay-per-view movie right to your console. You can also order food and drinks (also for a fee). You can watch TV streaming from satellites, and (this is really fun) you can chat with others on the plane via a linked up chatroom. I plan on having fun with that. There are also video games available, and you can access over 3000 mp3's to create your own playlists to listen to while on the plane (apparently they are available for purchase/download as well).

I'm gonna have to carry more usb cords.

All of this is run on servers in the belly of the plane - using - LINUX!

Take that Bill!

I'll see if I can get some decent video and post a little blurb about it...

Other than that, the Fab 4 (US), will be chillin' with the Fab 5 in the Happiest Place on Earth.

It's cool how you can make that so by just declaring it...

I'm thinking that there would be many more Happy Places if folks just thought that they were...wonder how that would work out?

Hahahahahaha...lots of my happiest places would be under water, I guess, but MOST would just be wherever my family and friends are. My happiest place would be a big compound where everyone I care about is...all at once...although not necessarily all together...space is a good thing to preserving happiness too. But I digress (as usual)...

Have a MAGICAL DAY!

M&G

Random Rambling, Misplaced Musings

So...it's Wednesday, April 16...the day after the US Government (and everyone else too, I suppose) implores us to continue our support of their many good programs and projects.

And not in a nice way, really.

It's not like they ask for a donation for their really cool ideas/projects, or give us a little sticker for the window of our car -

(that'd be nice, though...but only if it's the static cling kind - I hate stickers on my car that won't come off - and what's with these people that put stickers on the paint of their car? What are they thinking? But I digress...)

- I PAID MY TAXES 2008! with a little american flag or a caricature of uncle sam waving a dollar bill in front of the flag...the flag is a constant in my little car sticker fantasy.

Yeah, I'd like a little sticker...paid my taxes 2008! It'd probably take an act of congress to get it approved, though, and then someone would undoubted have to vet the design ad infinitum, making that one little sticker cost millions in tax dollars. It'd open a whole new collectibles market on eBay though.

I believe in paying taxes - for the most part, anyway. It's how we all work together as a big group of happy cohabitants of this country to fund the things that need funding in a bigger way than - here's $5, go get something to eat.

(don't get me started on the new social programs of this country tho...frankly, I don't think they are working all that well...$5 for dinner isn't probably enough).

There are things that need doing in an organized way, and those need us all to chip in. Things like roads, and police, and schools...

Apparently, there are also taxes going for lavish trips, and boats and houses, but these aren't what I am talking about. We don't get to enjoy the benefits of those taxes, and I'm pretty sure that none of the money I send the government (local, state or federal) goes to those kind of things. I write a note asking it to go for the good stuff, not for the fluff, so I'm pretty sure that they don't spend any of my money on those things.

So..I pay my taxes every year. Have done so for nearly 30 years (which is not a valid method for determining my age, by the way, I have paid taxes before most folks did, lol).

And every year, I wait to see if the pothole in the street outside my house (or someone else's house) gets filled. I also wait to see if the schools ever have enough money to buy books and art supplies. I think that they must, since the administrators around here are buying ipods and digital cameras for themselves - so there must be a ton of money left over every year. I'm still waiting to see the cool art projects though.

I also wait to see all the new police officers and fire fighters that get hired. We need them, so money goes there too I hear.

What I DO NOT understand is the whole notion of "estate" taxes. Most people would laugh if you told them that they had an estate, and it needed to be taxed.

I kinda cry, as I figure I've already paid taxes on all this stuff. Why don't I get a big bonus for that while I'm alive?...

When I think of "estate", I'm thinking Mar-a-Lago...you know, the big place in Florida that was built with Post (as in cereal) money in the 1920's?




I don't know about you, but my house does NOT look like that...even from the driveway, let alone from way up in the air...

Mar-a-Lago is a private club now...guess that's how some people avoid taxes, but it used to belong to a semi-famous big mouthed dweeb that has lots of "apprentices". You can even stay there...check out the link:

http://www.maralagoclub.com/default.asp

Most people will not reach the new $2M exemption (it was only $500K a few years back). You may think it laughable yourself. However, these days, with housing prices the way they are...it doesn't take all that much to get there. More people than you may think will be paying "up to 46%" of amounts above $2M ($3.5M starting next year). A home, a vacation place, a boat, a couple of cars. It all adds up.

So...here's my point. When you hit about 50 or 60, it's time to sell everything and live in a rental. Spend all that money. Go to the beach, or the mountains, or wherever you've "always wanted" to go. Think of it as a big tax refund...Your kids will thank you in the end.

I hadn't really thought I'd be blogging about all of this here today...which is interesting to me...but there ya go!

Live today, 'cause tomorrow is a myth until you wake up in it.

M&G

Happy Birthday to Magic!

Happy Birthday To You - Click here for this week’s top video clips

April 2009...Wakatobi Indonesia...

...a once in a lifetime trip for Goofy and I...can you believe it? Neither can we (yet)...imagine....






we hope to be staying in one of the beach bungalows there on the left...

I Knew it.....

Bad Kitteh! LOL

From now on, I'll sleep with one eye open when a cat is in the house.

Wah....

I suppose if you read the blog entry below, you should disregard...it's babbling brought on by cold medication I believe...

LOL

Although...

...I am hungry....

Magic has a cold

Wah.

Goofy and I spent a great weekend in Oregon visiting Uncle and Auntie.

The best times were when we just sat around drinking coffee and talking (which I think was a surprise for them, as they thought we'd need entertaining I believe :) The visit, as usual, was much too short, but we'll see them again soon.

Magic came home with a "hed code" tho...big baby. Magic is being a big baby, as that is the general course of events when one gets a "code"...LOL.

So, since Magic is the primary (read only) blogger here, the reports may be sporadic for a few days...or whiney....

I realize that there is really no such thing as "the common cold" as the rotten little virus that is responsible tends to mutate with every poor soul it infects - thereby making spreading so much more effective, and cure so impossible - but geez...what a miserable way to spend my time.

My mood matches the weather, at least...cold, grey and drippy. lol

I have WAY too much to do this week to be sick, but apparently it's not up to me. Thank goodness for cold medication...better living through chemicals...that's my motto! Talk about being in the wrong business...cold medicines just mitigate the symptoms, but give 'em to me anyway...I don't wanna be livin' without them. :) Misery loves company, so I must not be miserable...I wanna be left alone - except for when I am hungry, but that's a different thing. Come to think of it, I believe I turn into a cat when I am sick...I want what I want when I want it, but I don't want to see you unless I need you - and always on my terms...anyone with a cat knows this routine...lol...I think I need a nap...

and so it goes....

M&G

New Blog Site Added to Surfin' Safaris...

I found this site today in my wanderings through cyberspace as the carpet guys were installing the new carpet (OOOOOOOH, another post idea...woohoo).

Ya gotta love the simple truths...go take a look.

M&G

For No Particular Reason...

I am posting this picture of kitteh...



Heh...lol

Last night Goofy and I had dinner with friends downtown (at the usual spot...lol).

It was like a visit to the karma/well-being station...and no $4 a gallon to harsh things up! :)

Amazing how restorative it can be to spend an evening with dear friends just catching up and enjoying the company. Better than a spa.

Too often there is too little time to visit with friends...to reconnect on that human level with people the have places in our lives. What's up with that? What is going on in this world of ours where we forego actual human face-time in favor of...

...what?

Work? That's generally the excuse we use...we are too busy with our lives, to the point of life passing us by.

I've learned (and relearned on occasion) that so many things are not worthy of the importance that we assign them. There truly are very few things that are as important as our personal, human relationships. We'll tell ourselves that we need to make a living, need to clean the house or mow the lawn or any one of a thousand things that are part of our busy, 21st century lives. But in all seriousness, people are all that really matter when it comes down to it.

If you doubt that, spend an evening catching up with "your" people. I am sure that seretonin levels go up. Self-image and a general sense of well-being and connections tend to rise when you see yourself in the eyes of your friends.

Often these people are our "real" family...not of blood, but of choice - which is much more powerful and meaningful I think.

So, my wish for all of you is to take a little time out for yourself...find your friends and spend time with them - TV, the lawn, the dinner dishes can all wait..get yourself to the station and fill up on that priceless commodity of friendship that even our government can't regulate or inflate beyond the average person's ability to obtain. (sorry, couldn't resist one jab :)

And...to my friends who are my family...thanks for the refill, I can't wait to see you again soon!

M&G

It's Magic's Birthday Month!

Bwahahahahaha

Birthday month invoked, accepted and duly noted (by Goofy) today at 6:15am!

It's Magic's birthday month
It's Magic's birthday month
It's Magic's birthday month

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Happy April Y'all!

M&G