Thinking too much can take you to places you didn't consider before - but that's not necessarily a bad thing...
It's my birthday month.
Nothing of surprise to those of you that know me, and in fact, somewhat legendary in its nature for most.
I "invoked" my birthday month (which is part of the rules) at 6:35am, April 1 this year. I've done it earlier, but this was among the better ones - only 695 minutes of birthday month lost.
So far, though, nothing much has come up that requires using the "It's my birthday month, that's why!" invocation in order to get my own way.
Lest you be concerned, everyone is entitled to a birthday month in my viewpoint. It's a good thing. Great thing even. And, should there be many in your inner circle that have the same month, you need to work out how to deal with that amongst yourselves. In my circle, we have several ways of dealing with it (change to the previous or next month closest to your birthday and give the other one the month), or add weight in descending order of age to the actual invocation should conflict arise. Doesn't happen often though - dunno why.
It's actually also my birthday week - which is second only to actual birthday day in powerful birthday month juju.
So...now you know where I'm at to an extent.
All of this birthday thinking has got me thinking about other stuff too. Introspective as it were. Some days, it's a good thing, others, not so much.
Today, it's about middle of the road I guess. I'm feeling ready to stop being what I think I need to be and living as if tomorrow may never come. That seems a bit extreme, though - thanks to my rational and apparently responsible mind. I realize that it's irresponsible and foolhardy to throw caution to the wind and just go forth in the world without thinking things through. It's kind of attractive to think about it though.
If I did, I'd be far away from rainy, grey Seattle - at least at this time of year (which is Oct - May, pretty much). You know where I'd be, and so do I.
So, the question that begs answer is why the heck am I not there? It seems that I should be thinking about how to make that possible from a practical perspective (as if practical has a damn thing to do with it, lol). See? My mind is practical even as it tries to be irresponsible...LOL. I cannot win.
Is it worth the pain and grind and boredom to continue doing all the right things in life merely to be dead at the end without having had all the fun and adventure possible? At the moment, obviously I suspect, I'm not thinking so. I have too much "stuff" that I could (and should I think) live without easily. I can simplify. We all can. Maybe this is all just a normal part of birthdays and introspection...I just want to be free of all the "stuff" and be lighter without it all. Divesting as a natural part of the aging process? Who knows?
And also, as I look toward more appreciation of the simple and sometimes intangible things in life, I invariably look to the example my mother set. Without intention, surely. She spent so many of her years doing all the right things - wife, mother, teacher, friend, provider, and many more. Putting everyone she cared about ahead of herself always. And for that, when she got to the place in life where it could finally be all about her - her days were cut ridiculously short. She did it all right, and ended up not really living the joy until the last 10 years of her life. I'm so grateful that she had those last 10 years with intention. But the point I'm making here is that she could have been just as good a person - a mother and everything else - if she'd always put some part of herself up there with the rest of us as first.
She was taken away so very early, and from that, I take away the lesson that we just never know what time we have left. We need to live each day with intention and looking for the joy (both small and large) in where we are now. Some of that includes looking for happiness in a clean house after you've done the work, but it also includes making the time to do what makes us happy in a bigger sense. What ever that means to you.
For me, it's spending most of my time with Goofy, and that big group of people that make up my family (both biologically and by intention). When it comes down to it, the people you love are all that matters in the end.
And because of that, I want you all to learn to scuba dive...'cause that's where I want to be too. LOL. ;) At least be on the boat when we go diving...it's something that I find so awesome and amazing, I want everyone to experience it. Hehe...pushy much?
I want to spend my time in Maui part of the time, and Seattle the rest. And I want to make enough money to feed my scuba addiction and not worry about little things. Not too much to ask for I think - but I have to think harder about how to make that reality. It's possible, I think. It'll take some adjustment and convincing, but with some planning and thought...Hmmmmmm...I wonder...
So, from my introspective point of view, I'm looking at all of the things that are important to me and trying to figure out how to make it live harmoniously with the reality of living in the greater scope of the real world.
Think it'd be easier to just be stupid and ignorant sometimes...sigh...
Just sayin'